Lee’s Insights

This blog and these posts are me just sharing what I learn as I learn it … I’m not an “expert”,  I’m a coach who’s on a spiritual path to wellness just like a lot of people.  I’m constantly reading, doing research, soul searching, learning from others and I feel called to share what I learn with my readers.

Feeling well was something that eluded me for years before I found out about my gluten allergy.  I just assumed how I felt was just how I was - some people feel well and happy and others don’t and I was one of the unlucky ones.  One day I set the intention (without knowing that’s what I was doing) to feel better, I was tired of being tired, depressed and sick all of the time, the crazy thing is that  just setting that intention set some amazing wheels in motion.  From that moment on my life was never the same!  I have since discovered that I can and do feel well most of the time, I discovered my passions for matters of  health and wellness, spirituality, coaching and healing.  The changes are too numerous to list here, but my point is that by just setting the intention to make life different, by taking personal RESPONSIBILITY for my well-being, I discovered joy and purpose.  It’s my prayer & intention that you are able to do the same thing - I’ve listed below a very short list of easy things you can do right now to set the wheels in your life in motion.

5 Things You Can Do Right Now to Feel Better Right Now!!

1.  Make a decision to feel better:  Set your intention right now.  How tired are you of being tired?  Take 5 minutes and write in your journal or on any piece of paper what your life would look like if you felt great.  Be descriptive, what would you do? Where would you go? Who would you be with? What would you wear? How happy would you feel?  When you put a goal or an intention on paper, the rate of success skyrockets.  When you put an intention or a goal on paper the Law of Attraction kicks into overdrive!  Now, watch for the opportunities to arrive.  Maybe a new doctor who understands your problem, maybe an article about your symptoms, maybe a new supplement … a new breakthrough.  Anything is possible.  Set the intention now!

2.  Practice Gratitude:  All I can say about this is just try it!  At the end of the day, write at least 5 things you are grateful for that day, they can be small things or big things, no matter how bad or tired you feel.  This will change your life - it changed mine!  This exercise gets you to notice all of the little things, all of the little blessings … you have to pay attention  because you’re going to need to remember them later!  Skeptical or just not in the mood?  Do it anyway -  try it for just for a week and see what happens.  When we don’t feel well we tend to focus on just that, we forget to notice just how blessed we really are.  When we feel gratitude our perspective begins to change and you will feel better  right away, I  promise!

3.  Cut out just one of these things  - starchy carbs, sugar, caffeine or alcohol:  This is a small step  - make it a bigger step with bigger rewards by choosing only one to ingest per day.  I know they’re good, but they are  poison to your system - your body is a healing machine, it can and will begin to heal itself with the proper nutrition going into it.  Starchy carbs, sugar, caffeine & alcohol make your body work too hard to counteract them which takes  precious energy away from it’s ability to heal.  Cut one or two out and not only will you feel better physically, but you’ll feel “healthier” mentally.  More on this in a future post.

4. Get enough clean filtered water every day:  Aim for 64 oz. per day, more if you exercise or  live in a dry climate.  Did you know that even mild dehydration can cause depression, fatigue, headaches, loss of alertness, insomnia, hunger pangs, dry scaly skin, constipation, joint discomfort and as I discovered, restless leg syndrome? Our bodies are made up of approximately 60% water, we need water to function.  With enough water our bodies can help prevent cancer and the risk of  chronic disease, maintain a healthy body weight, prevent urinary infections, fight constipation and the list goes on.  Drink enough so that you rarely feel thirsty and your urine runs clear or only slightly yellow.  Try it - you will feel better!

5.  Take time for stillness:  Call it what you want - meditation, prayer, introspection, quiet time … it doesn’t matter.  Do this all at once or in short moments, but aim for at least 30 minutes a day.  Tune out the left brain chatter (like you can tune out a child or the television),  don’t try to stop thinking just tune it out -  sit still, eyes closed and breath.  Focus on your breath or think about things your are grateful for or think of a beautiful place, flower or piece of art - maybe light a scented candle… whatever you have to do to keep your mind still,  just for a few moments.  Get in touch with the peace inside yourself - just sit and be still and you’ll find that peace IS in there.  The more time you take to tune into it the better you will feel.  This is something I am still working on, but when I take time for stillness, even if only for a few moments, the rewards are huge!   Do this and you will feel better!

These are only 5 easy-to-do-right-now steps you can take to begin to dip your toe into better health and wellness.  Stay tuned  - there are more to come!!

My coaching challenge:  Pick one of these or all 5 and try to incorporate them into your day - then come back and tell me how you feel!

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I’m excited about finally entering this post and here’s why:

I’ve been writing to this blog for the past couple of years  - writing about my insights into personal growth and spirituality, but there was always something missing.  I was diagnosed with a gluten allergy almost 8 years ago (I can’t believe it’s been that long!)  At the time of the diagnosis I was actually relieved, within a matter of weeks I no longer felt so fatigued that I had to take a nap every night after work, I no longer felt depressed for no reason, I no longer carried 10 lbs of weight around my waist and more importantly I could go on dates, on hikes and on weekend trips without fear of bathroom emergencies or being doubled over in pain - to say nothing of the fact that in the process of eliminating all of the other possibilities, during a colonoscopy,  we discovered and removed pre-cancerous polyps in my colon (these can take 10 years to turn into full blown cancer), which might not sound like a big deal, but I was 37 at the time and the protocol for routine colonoscopy for women is age 50 … so as far as I’m concerned my gluten allergy probably saved my life!   So all in all, at the time of the diagnosis I was a happy camper.

Until I had to figure out what to eat and what not to eat!  This was almost 8 years ago, there weren’t as many options then as there are now and it was hard and I was all on my own.   I had to throw out all of the staples I had in my pantry and buy all over again.  I got on line and researched products, recipes, how to read ingredient labels, which additives are GF and which aren’t  - didn’t know that soy sauce was a no-no,  and so was blue cheese dressing.  I printed and carried around a 10 page printed list of ingredients and products that were approved as well as the ones that were not approved.   I’ve learned a lot and I’m still learning …

Which brings me back to what was missing on this blog.  I recently cofounded a local support group for people in our area dealing with gluten issues and part of my goal has been to start a GF blog or website - to create one central place where people like me can go and get some good solid information on how to easily make the transition into the GF lifestyle.  I’ve been agonizing about how to go about this and just recently I decided that I don’t need a NEW blog, I can just add on to this blog …  it’s all part of the same thing, my passion is helping people heal (mostly women) themselves physically through nutrition, emotionally through personal growth and spirituality.  So here it is, my first post in my newly redesigned same old blog!  I’m not sure how it’s going to evolve, but it will - so keep checking in!

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I just had lunch today with my friend, Alan Eisenberg -we caught up on a number of issues and just generally reconnected. I was very excited to see we are both really focusing on moving forward in our individual areas of passion. Our lunch was an unexpected source of renewed energy. I recommend you make the time to have lunch with a good friend this week -it’s good for the soul!

Anyway, Alan has a great blog on the subject of bullying from an adult perspective. He is generous with his sharing of very personal first-hand experiences and is successfully building community awareness through his blog, by networking with others with the same mission as well as working on his documentary (contributions are welcome!). Read his story and about his efforts at: http://bullyinglte.wordpress.com/

My Coaching challenge: Have you overcome a challenge that you faced as a child -or as an adult? Think about starting a blog -others can always benefit from your experience and you’ll be amazed at the the healing you’ll experience when you really “know” that you aren’t the only one that went through it. Go to www.wordpress.com to start your blog today! Oh… and schedule lunch with a good friend today!

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Studies have shown that even 15 minutes a day of quiet meditation can have amazing benefits -decrease in anxiety and depression, increase in energy, increase in mental acuity, and the list goes on.

I recently decided to make having a consistent meditation practice top on my list of personal priorities and I can’t believe the resources that have suddenly presented themselves. Among my favorites is the book “Wherever You Go, There You Are - Mindfulness Meditation in Every Day Life” by Jon Kabat-Zinn. In his book, Kabat-Zinn explains the principles of Mindfulness in meditation in easy to understand language. In addition to explaining the basics, where to meditate, how to get ready, how to sit, etc., he gives some examples of wonderful simple self-guided meditations. One of my favorites is Mountain Meditation -this is a perfect meditation for people who feel pulled in many different directions, people who are impacted by other people’s moods and demands and anyone who is generally feeling stressed and out of control.

Picture a majestic mountain, any mountain that you can clearly visualize -the more detailed the visualization the better. The mountain is standing tall and strong, it has been there for thousands of years. All around the mountain the weather changes from beautiful sunny skies to hurricane force winds to snow and ice, but the mountain always stands firm -the activity just whirls around the mountain but does not affect it day to day. Now, sit quietly and focus on your breath going in and out -relax and breath… as the thoughts come in and out of your mind, picture yourself as the mountain -sit up tall and strong like a mountain, firmly grounded to the earth -let the thoughts and the stress and anxiety whirl around you without affecting you, the thoughts of people and situations that are pressuring you are just thoughts and you are a mountain, sitting strong. You are who you are, who you have always been, regardless of the “weather” happening around you. Sit with that feeling of power and majesty, breath in and out slowly and relax for as long as you feel comfortable doing so.

This meditation practiced for only a few minutes a day will do wonders for your self confidence and strength. You will begin to understand that the issues that come up are just part of life, they are normal, but you don’t have to let them affect you. You can remain calm, strong and tall -who you are can remain constant.

My coaching challenge: Get Jon Kabat-Zinn’s book. Read it and pick a meditation you think will work for you and practice it for just 5 minutes a day. I promise you will see results!

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There are those times and I know I’m not the only one, when we hit a dip in the confidence area -where suddenly (or does it slowly creep up on us?) we feel less smart, less prepared, less witty, less valuable to the world, and it’s in those times where our ability to achieve can come to a grinding halt.

What to do? Get a confidence boost! Just like happiness begets happiness and misery begets misery, confidence begets confidence. The key to getting it back is to start small -or start big, if you want, but just start somewhere! Research shows that any personal achievement, any little change for the better will begin to make us feel more confident -of course, the bigger the accomplishment, the bigger the stretch out of our comfort zone, the more confident we feel.

Here is a list of confidence boosters:

Start an exercise routine

Get a makeover

Try a new hairstyle

Go skydiving

Join toastmasters

Try a new hobby

Spend time with good friends

Write a list of all of your good qualities –no judgement from you!

Wear only clothes that make you feel great

Get a plan together to pay off debt

Take a class

Set a small goal and achieve it -do that every week

Make something

Get a spray on tan

Get a manicure

Take an online course in something you are interested in

Take a long walk

Start a blog (check out www.wordpress.com)

Make a dream book -a scrapbook of everything you are and want –cut pictures out of magazines

Sign up for a race or other challenging athletic event and train for it in a group

Refinish a piece of furniture

Cook a fabulous meal for a friend and serve it on your good china

Take a wine tasting course

Write a book

Help someone in need

Donate to a charity or participate in a charitable event

Say a prayer for someone else

Say a prayer for yourself

Read a book about something interesting and share what you’ve learned on the internet

Write a letter to the editor of your local paper about something you care about

Learn to meditate

Take a yoga class or get a DVD and try it at home

Start to eliminate negativity from your life -thoughts and people!

My coaching challenge:

Pick three things you will do (or come up with 3 on your own) –write them here along with the dates you will do them, you will be amazed at how much better you will feel!

1. ________________________________________ date: _________

2. ________________________________________ date: _________

3. ________________________________________ date: _________

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I was in a class yesterday and the leader asked us to write a list of everything that is perfect in our lives. After a little thought, and because I knew what she was looking for, I wrote:

“Everything in my life is perfect.”

Yeah right! There are lots of things that aren’t perfect. I wish I had more free time to read, cook, spend time with my family. I wish my house was always clean and “zen-looking”. I wish I had a garage and a lot more storage space. I wish my 13 year-old son would just do it because “I said so!”, and there are probably a lot of other things about my life and myself that quite frankly are just about as far from perfect as they could be, but I get what she was getting at.

My life is perfect -it is just as it should be. That is not to say that all is “good” - perfect is not perfectly-good, it is just perfectly-as-it-is. Perfect-as-it-is means that it’s OK, everything that’s going on right now is OK and it’s not going to destroy me. It doesn’t mean anything about me or my family or my life - it just is - and if there is anything I want to change, then fine, I can go about figuring out how to do that - coming from a position of trust, trust that the Universe is good and in order, and not from a position of doubt and fear -or anger.

I choose to look at all of the things I decide to change or work on as the “antagonists” and they have value in my life -everything negative in my life adds value.  Who and what are the antagonists? My negative thoughts, my bad habits, that coworker who is just driving me crazy, the red light that just won’t change, the thousand things around my house that I am just tolerating (light bulbs in need of changing, disorganized pantry, etc.) -all are antagonists, and if everything really is perfect, and all really is as it should be, then they must be here to teach me something - and how I choose to handle them will either make me a better person and a better coach (or mom or wife…) or will sink me into frustration and fatigue. It’s literally my choice.

My coaching challenge: What is the thing or person in your life that is bothering you the most right now? Make the conscious choice to believe that that thing or person is in your life to teach you something and to make you a better person. What are the ways that this situation can help you grow, what are some ways you can handle this differently than you have been -how can your experience with this help others? If you feel inclined to share -please post a reply, we can all learn from your experience!

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Let me share something I’ve learned and it’s huge. This applies to everyone -yup, even me. If you are struggling with an addiction of any kind -where you are right now (the space you are in right this minute) is as good as it gets… UNTIL YOU TAKE CONTROL. And yes, you can take control!

What am I talking about and what is the definition of addiction? Definition first. An addiction for the sake of this post is anything at all that you do that you don’t want to do, but can’t stop doing. How often, or how much, or how much damage it does or doesn’t cause is irrelevant. Alcohol, drugs, sex, shopping, eating, nagging, gossiping, biting your nails, worrying… whatever it is, if you keep telling yourself you will stop doing it, but you do it anyway, it’s an addiction and it’s a problem. Period.

So what did I mean when I said this is as good as it gets? I mean that when we are being controlled by an addiction of any kind, we cannot move forward until we regain control. We’re not in charge of our lives -”it” is. And even though we can accomplish a lot of things in spite of “it” -we always know in the back of our minds that there’s this one thing that has become unmanageable - it affects our self esteem, our confidence and that knowing that we really can have anything we want. I am a believer in the Law of Attraction -I KNOW it to be true, but when in the grip of an addiction, our thinking gets clouded and the belief that we can have it all starts to kind of fade away, gradually… until we’ve lost our true center and true belief… and true self.

The fact of the matter is we CAN have it all. The Universe will move mountains to get it for us - IF we believe, take control and take action against the addiction.

Lee’s revised Step 1: Take Control.

I know, it goes against the grain of many a 12-step support group, but not really. I believe that we can take control and we do it when we make the personal decision that enough is enough and by exposing the demon to the “harsh light of day”. We take control by admitting the problem to ourselves first and then to someone else we trust. We don’t sugar coat it, we tell the truth in all it’s ugliness. We aren’t bad, the addiction is, but we have handed power and dominion over our lives to the addiction. We will need help to triumph over it, but we are in control of whether or not we seek that help. We are in control when we drink, eat, spend too much, (your addiction here) and we have the control to make a decision to make it stop!

Once we make the decision to take control, admit the problem to ourselves and to one person we trust, the Universe will take action. Opportunities to help us overcome will present themselves -people that have been in the same boat suddenly appear and the true miracle happens and life suddenly gets better than we ever thought. That’s a promise!

My coaching challenge: Take 5 minutes today and just be honest with yourself -take a long look at that behavior that’s been nagging at you and ask yourself -is this an addiction? Am I out of control? If the answer is yes, know that you are a good person and take back the control… one step at a time.

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It seems like I hear more and more often from my coaching clients that they do not have enough hours in a day to accomplish what needs to done.

Here is what they say:

They are being pulled into meetings at the last minute and have to cancel agenda items to accommodate. They are stretched by the needs of family and friends. The wonderful new technologies make them so accessible to the needs of others they barely have time to breath. The phone rings during lunch, so they can’t remember with whom they had lunch, never mind what they ate. E-mail systems beep to tell them of a new message breaking their concentration required to complete that important report. Their open door policy allows free access to them by their colleagues and subordinates, but little space in which to accomplish the real work at hand. The result is a frazzled, short tempered, scattered, unhappy, minimally productive, minimally appreciated, person that works long hours and is rewarded with little sleep, no real nourishment of body and spirit and a “to do” list a mile long.

Does any of this sound like you? If it does, read on, because I have news for you. It doesn’t have to!

Too often we stay on the “gerbil wheel” of life feeling incapable of making the choice to take the first step off only to be eventually thrown off by an illness or major crisis.

Remember this? “If the oxygen masks should fall, indicating a change in cabin pressure, put on your own mask first, BEFORE helping your children or others in need.” Translate: If your life should get so full that you are losing control of even the most simple of tasks - take care of yourself first so that you will have the ability and energy required to support the ones you love and accomplish the tasks that are required of you.

So what can you do to soften that first step off the “gerbil wheel” of life?

First: Realize you are in control. Yes you are!! You can and do have control, but you have to choose to exercise it. Remember, not choosing is also a choice.

Second: Assess the situation. Begin to look at all the areas of your life that are out of control or on the verge of being out of control and make a list. Need help? Get a friend or coach to sit down and do it with you. Often I find that this is all that needs to be done to get a person back on track.

Third: Organize, eliminate or delegate. Look at each thing, can it be organized better so it won’t creep up on you at the last minute? Can you eliminate it altogether -how important is it? Can someone else do it or part of it?

Here are some suggestions:
1. Close your door for two hours each day and don’t answer the phone - give 100% to that important project.

2. Forward your calls or put a message on your voicemail that you will be unreachable for an hour and a half and have a relaxed lunch with a business associate or friend. Enjoy yourself, it’s OK, no one will die!

3. Disable e-mail alerts on your computer and schedule 2 to 3 periods of time per day to read and respond to your e-mail. Create an auto-response letting people know that you have received their e-mail and when they can expect a response.

4. Set a boundary at home with your family or at work with staff and colleagues that at certain times you are off limits. They are not to disturb you for any reason, unless it is an emergency. Clearly define what you consider an emergency! Kids (and some coworkers) love responsibility - recruit them to remind you that it is off-limits time and to run interference should anyone try to interrupt.

5. Double dip. Only say yes to volunteer opportunities that you can do with your spouse or children -this will accomplish both “doing your part” and spending good quality time with your family.

6. Another double dip - instead of having lunch with a friend, meet her for a walk or a work out at the gym. It will feel great to cross two things off your list!

7. Always plan your day ahead of time. Set the intention for what you plan to accomplish that day and write down your goals.

These are just a few of many ideas that will help you focus on what is real and necessary and will begin the process of taking back your time. Remember to tell people what you are doing, the changes you are implementing may ruffle some feathers at first, but if you explain why, you will most likely enlist the support of those around you.

As you begin to take the time for clarity and focus, you will notice your energy levels begin to rise and your productivity increase. You will notice that you make decisions to create even more time - be sure to allocate some of that time for your well being. Take time for fun and relaxation.

I say there are 6 major areas in life, they are career, relationships, health and fitness, spirituality, leisure and finances -the key to control and happiness is to devote time to creating balance among them all.

Coaching Challenge: Find one area in your life to which you are willing to apply these principals and go for it!

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On Memorial Day, right before our big 2nd Annual Memorial Day Picnic and Potluck party (like about 10 minutes before), I decided to get on the scale. At the time it wasn’t smart but now I see it as a blessing. I had put on 15 pounds over the past year and a half -it had been 12 pounds for the most part, but that day I was up to 15. It was depressing and it didn’t help that my mother told me the top I was wearing made me look big. Not a fun day!

I decided then and there to do something about it -no way was I going to let the pounds creep up any further. I called a friend who was going to Weight Watchers and made a plan to meet her at the next meeting. The details of the program aren’t relevant right now, but I will say that I wholeheartedly endorse WW as a healthy way to permanently lose weight. I signed up, got a plan going and have stuck to it -for the most part . It has not been easy, it’s gotten easier as I’ve gone along, but there were times when I really just wanted to quit and eat whatever I wanted. My friend, Amy, gave me a good mantra to focus on in the tough times -”nothing tastes as good as being thin feels!”. As a coach it was important to me to put my money where my mouth is, do what I said I was going to do and follow through on this goal.

Here I am, 10 weeks later, I just came back from weighing in and I have just 2.8 pounds to go and I feel great! I don’t think I have been this proud of myself in a long time. Some of my insights:

1. Set a specific goal and tell everyone! Having friends to hold me accountable was invaluable.

2. Don’t reinvent the wheel -find a coach or a program that is already in place -get the support you need!

3. Have mantras to focus on when it gets tough.

4. Celebrate the small successes along the way.

5. Cut yourself slack when you “fall off the wagon” and just get back on -now!

I have 2.8 to go -at the rate I’m going, it’ll take another 3-4 weeks. Just in time for my Hilton Head BEACH vacation! Woohoo! -this year I’ll wear a bathing suit!

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This is the first post on my new and very first BLOG -a very big and exciting step into the 21st Century -finally! This is actually part of my ICA graduation requirement and it’s probably a good thing because, quite frankly, I didn’t want to ever know anything about blogging much less have one. I’ve decided to make this a multi-fold blog -it will be random insights that I have -and I invite anyone to share theirs here if they want to -as well as ICA homework and anything else it morphs into over time.

The challenge I face is to really just be myself here and try not to fall into the trap of having to write just so or be witty -I have dared to post a comment here and there on other blogs (maybe a total of 3) and the occasional post on the ICA discussion board and the first thing I noticed is that most people don’t really respond (even though you’ll see that 30 people saw the post!) -which to be honest, made me feel somewhat rejected at first, like maybe whatever I wrote was just completely ridiculous or inappropriate -I would literally go back and check my posts every couple of hours for days to see if anyone responded only to finally give up altogether. It’s kind of strange to join a community and post thoughts randomly to the universe without feedback of some kind. After sharing this with my coach, she said this was common and part of the deal. Hmm… ok, I guess I’ll get used to that one of these days.

I have read that blogging is the wave of the future and a lot of business and networking will be conducted this way -so here we go!

I hope whoever runs across this blog enjoys it -and please, feel free to drop a response!

To your health and wellness,

Lee

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