Lee’s Insights

I’m a goal setter. I love taking my life, my business, whatever it might be -to the next level. From time to time, I’ve tried to take time off of goal setting and working towards accomplishing things only to find myself depressed and lethargic -I get truly energized by working towards a goal and even more energized by watching others do the same. Hence, my coaching career!

Sometimes, though, along the way to reaching the goal, I get derailed - usually it’s my schedule that derails me, or maybe the people around me aren’t supportive, or I just don’t have the necessary tools or info to follow through effectively. Typically, when this happens, the wind gets knocked out of my sails for awhile, until I am able to objectively think things through and figure out what the stumbling block is. I then try to put a plan in place to remove the stumbling block -get the schedule organized, ask the people around me for their support and encouragement (usually, I haven’t even told them what the goal is so they didn’t know how to support me!), get the tools or the education I need -and then I’m off again, back on track and usually the goal gets accomplished more quickly than I even thought.

I’m embarrassed to admit that there have been times when the derailment was just too big so I quit -the loss of energy was too great or the sense of being too overwhelmed was too much and I just gave up. I’m just telling the truth here and don’t really want to put any more energy into that, however, I may go back and revisit some of those goals.
Those plans that I put in place to remove the stumbling blocks are called “structures” -they are systems that I create to support the goal -oh and by the way, you can have negative structures, systems that are in place that virtually guarantee failure (like unaware family members or and out-of-control schedule) -So here’s the Aha! moment that I had this morning - You don’t have to wait to derail to put positive structures in place or remove the negative ones…. sounds obvious, but you can actually deal with it when you set the goal!!

What did I learn from this? This is the new process when working with a client or myself or anyone who decides to set a goal - At the time the goal is set, we will take a look at the structures that are in place in their lives that can derail the goal and look at ways to remove them and/or find ways to put structures in place that will actually support the goal. The idea is that the structures support the goal and almost make the accomplishment of it automatic. Example? If the goal is to lose weight, and one of the stumbling blocks is eating sweets at night -the positive supporting structure could be to not have sweets in the house, then it becomes automatic that you won’t eat sweets at night -simple example, but a powerful one.

Structures can be viewed as the foundation that the accomplishment of a goal rests on -if it’s solid and positive, the goal can be reached -if it’s crumbly and weak, the goal is much tougher to achieve.

Love those Aha! moments!

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I wish I could say this was my idea, it wasn’t -I believe I got it from a real estate coaching program I was a part of a long time ago -but it has stuck with me and become an integral part of my coaching.

Your Ultimate Scenario (US) is your ultimate life, it is your best possible outcome, with no limitations imposed on it. It is a detailed, clear, mental image of what you want your life to look like. I truly believe that anything is possible, it’s the Law of Attraction in action, if you have a clear focused picture of what you want. I ask every client to write out their Ultimate Scenario in as much detail as possible -right down to where they will live, how is their environment will be decorated, how much money do they will make (no limitations!), how many hours they will work, what kind of time they will spend with family and friends and what activities they do with them. Once they write this out I suggest that they share with me and at least one other person. Powerful things happen when you share your written goals with another person.

Once that US is defined, the planning and goal setting just sort of falls into place. It is an amazing tool to use to keep ourselves on track -is this decision consistent with my US? If your Ultimate Scenario is working from home and spending more time with your family, earning $100,000 per year or more in only 30 hours of work time per week -does it make sense to take that job offer for $100,000 with great benefits that involves an hour and a half commute into the city every day and travel?

Ultimate Scenarios are most powerful when looking at your ideal life, but can be equally useful in the planning of the details. Recently a client was stressed out about having to hire an administrative assistant for herself -after writing out her Ultimate Scenario of the working relationship she wants to have, the ad basically wrote itself.

In writing your Ultimate Scenario, keep the following in mind:

1. This is where you design your perfect life, no limitations -no judgments.

2. Be as detailed as you can be -it’s almost as though you are describing a vivid daydream.

3. Share your US with someone you trust. You are not asking for feedback you are just sharing.

4. Watch your life start to take direction and watch the Universe jump into action!

I have attached my Ultimate Scenario form and my Time Capsule form for your use. These have been very helpful for me, my friends and clients alike.

Time Capsule

Ultimate Scenario

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On Memorial Day, right before our big 2nd Annual Memorial Day Picnic and Potluck party (like about 10 minutes before), I decided to get on the scale. At the time it wasn’t smart but now I see it as a blessing. I had put on 15 pounds over the past year and a half -it had been 12 pounds for the most part, but that day I was up to 15. It was depressing and it didn’t help that my mother told me the top I was wearing made me look big. Not a fun day!

I decided then and there to do something about it -no way was I going to let the pounds creep up any further. I called a friend who was going to Weight Watchers and made a plan to meet her at the next meeting. The details of the program aren’t relevant right now, but I will say that I wholeheartedly endorse WW as a healthy way to permanently lose weight. I signed up, got a plan going and have stuck to it -for the most part . It has not been easy, it’s gotten easier as I’ve gone along, but there were times when I really just wanted to quit and eat whatever I wanted. My friend, Amy, gave me a good mantra to focus on in the tough times -”nothing tastes as good as being thin feels!”. As a coach it was important to me to put my money where my mouth is, do what I said I was going to do and follow through on this goal.

Here I am, 10 weeks later, I just came back from weighing in and I have just 2.8 pounds to go and I feel great! I don’t think I have been this proud of myself in a long time. Some of my insights:

1. Set a specific goal and tell everyone! Having friends to hold me accountable was invaluable.

2. Don’t reinvent the wheel -find a coach or a program that is already in place -get the support you need!

3. Have mantras to focus on when it gets tough.

4. Celebrate the small successes along the way.

5. Cut yourself slack when you “fall off the wagon” and just get back on -now!

I have 2.8 to go -at the rate I’m going, it’ll take another 3-4 weeks. Just in time for my Hilton Head BEACH vacation! Woohoo! -this year I’ll wear a bathing suit!

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